Me and the Geek Squad

Today I am a man. I moved up to a 46” LED Samsung flat screen smart television. In the process, I learned much about myself. Mostly I am an old fart that was wallowing in some electronic limbo holding cell. Given that I run a website and even know some html which enables me to put all those fabulous You Tube videos into the site each week, I liked to think of myself as being somewhat technologically savvy. Of course, I still believe in the Easter Bunny.

Walking into to Best Buy was a humbling experience. But the digital gods must have been smiling on me as I entered the television section. Some guy named Dan…some kid named Dan…came up to help me. This dude knew his stuff.

He taught me about plasma televisions (great for dark rooms); LCD televisions (probably the brightest you can buy); and LED televisions with backlighting which make them perfect for bright rooms, and somewhat less desirable for dark rooms. There is a reason for that. I learned that when I turned the lights off in the family room, the television set dims itself. If I wanted to brighten the picture, I had to turn on a light. It was cool brightening and dimming the television by turning the sofa lamp on and off. I wised up and read the instruction booklet and figured out how to stop that from happening. But it was fun while it lasted!!

I decided to go all out. I wanted the best of everything, except for 3D which I never liked in the movies why would I want it on my living room’s television. So Dan of Best Buy had a field day with me. He sold me the television, a television stand, HDMI cables, screen cleaner. He sold me a new router to solve a long standing problem with my home network. This was important because the Smart TV hooks into my home network to access the internet so I can buy Samsung apps and download from Netflix!!!! My problem was ultra difficult so it needed an ultra router which cost an ultra $160.00!!!!

Then Dan sold me on the Geek Squad because there was no way in hell I was going to attempt to put all of this stuff together. The contract to buy my house was easier to understand than how the Geek Squad charges because they piggy back price reductions the more they install. Dan didn’t have to sell me, I just told him to sign me up. This he did, after he tried to sell me $175.00 universal remote that would “sync all of the functions” whatever that means. I passed on the remote.

So the cost of the television was $1,000.00 after price checks with the new JJ Gregg store in the middle of the Best Buy parking lot. But with the router, the cables, the 4 year warranty several consumer companies told me to buy for an LED television with little lights that go out, the router, the television stand, the installation and the sales tax…let’s just say I will be eating peanut butter all summer!!

But there was good news tonight. Best Buy Dan, the dude who sold me the stuff, was kicked upstairs. I was there on his last day of sales, and I was his last sale. Guess who came to my house to install the stuff. Good ole Dan. They moved him into service...and he could sell stuff off the truck!!!!

Dan, and for that matter me, was a little taken back by my lack of technologically advanced gizmos. No, I don’t have a desktop. I have a laptop and net book (“You actually bought one of those things?” he asked. “Dude, you need a pad.” Isn’t a pad a bachelor apartment?)

He was intrigued by the old style tube Phillips portable television in my “office”/spare bedroom. It is attached to an original Nintendo. It was like he was looking at an Edison Disc Player. And my router…how old is that piece of _______? And my old flat screen 32” television that weighs 200 pounds and has 10 year old circuitry that will last for next 25 years? Didn’t even know they made those. And my cable box???? Fuggetaboutit! Dude, there is no HDMI attachment to this cable box. They only made these for a year then dumped them. I was defeated. I was dejected. How could I be so un-cool?

But all’s well that ends well. Dan was a super salesman, and he and his partner Marc were even better installers. They were fast and efficient and knew their stuff. My network now actually reaches into my family room, which I couldn’t get to happen for years. My new television is up and running and is actually easier to use than my old television. It is connected to the internet and my blue-ray player…which is also now connected to the internet. My Bose radio, which I use as my “sound system” is attached to the television and linked to my computer. And the new cable box with the HDMI connection is so slim and tiny, it could fit into my wife’s purse. These guys were good. Oh ya... did you know the new televisions don't come with RCA plugs, the standard to connect stuff for years!!!!  When you're out, you're out!

I have to give snaps to the Geek Squad and Best Buy. I paid a lot of money, and it was worth every penny. I only have one problem, there doesn't seem to be a place to insert my VHS tape.  I think maybe I better call Dan.