Of Tangos and Toe Suckers

In the category of what was he thinking….Mark Sanford, the Republican governor of South Carolina, self destructed when he took off to visit his Argentine Firecracker in Buenos Aires last week. This thing is just too good to pass up, and will be fodder for the late night television talk show hosts for weeks. An example of the coming humor: the tabloid headline “Buenos Airhead”!!!

This guy was an up and comer in the Republican party, and had a shot of being the presidential nominee in 2012 as the party’s right wing candidate. But his long distance romance founded in an internet chat room and then blossoming into true love, or lust, ended up with his wife throwing him out of the house two weeks ago and telling him don’t come back. She had no idea where he was, or so she says. Given she has known about the “affair de Coeur” since December, my guess is she knew exactly where he was, but was mindful of the perks from which she benefited as South Carolina’s First Lady.

We could have done without his seven minute mea culpa as he deboarded the plane describing how he cried for five days. And for God's sake, if you are going to screw around, don't hide your car in plain sight. Dude, they were looking for you!!

Listen, nothing our politicians will try to get away with surprises me. The gold standard for tolerating elected executive peccadilloes belongs to Bill Clinton and his “not having sex” in the oval office with a 21 year old intern. Elliot Spitzer, the prostitution prosecutor, is another gem as he used public funds to frequent high end hookers while throwing others in jail for doing the same thing. One of my personal favorites is John Edwards hiding in a men's room in a Los Angeles hotel as he dodged reporters covering his cheating on his dying wife. Then there was Governor James McGreevey of New Jersey, who came out of the closet in public with his wife standing next to him as he admitted he put the guy he was schtooping on the State of New Jersey payroll. His wife was either very stupid or very brave…or shell shocked.

Given the headlines of the day, it was ironic that Fox News hosted former Clinton advisor, now Clinton hater and conservative advocate, Dick Morris as a guest on Fox and Friends this morning. His comments on the proposed health care restructuring have substantial merit and will be discussed another day.

That being said, you may remember that Dick Morris was the subject of a scandal himself while a Clinton adviser. You see, Mr. Morris liked to frequent women of questionable repute, and had a propensity to be on the phone with the President, receiving national security briefings, while in a hotel room with a babe getting his toes sucked. Not the President, Dick Morris was getting his toes sucked. The President was getting something else….well…never mind. And the rockets’ reds glare…the bombs bursting in air!! I don’t know about the flag, but something else was still there!!

So what have we learned from all of this? Nothing else may be bipartisan in politics, but sex hath no ideology. Let’s all join hands and sing Kum By Yah!! On the other hand, how about a chorus of Besame Mucho?